We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
