i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
