I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize