i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize