So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
