I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
