Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
