He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
