i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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