He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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