Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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