I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
