Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
