thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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