yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
