Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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