is your mom at the bar?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
