he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize