it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
