That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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