hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
