What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize