all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
