went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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