maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
