'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
