i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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