that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
