dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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