this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
