FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
