Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
