it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The Olympian is in my bed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
