please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
