I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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