I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
