she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
