It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
