I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
