Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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