It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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