and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
