Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize