tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize