yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
