singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
