I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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