he thought i was a dude.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
