we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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