After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
