the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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