let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
