Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
