no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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