fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will pee on everything he values.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
