I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
