I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
