He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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