these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
