Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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