So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
