I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
