he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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